Back On the Road- A Message of My Intent Traveling Across the U.S.

            Tomorrow I am about to embark on a new adventure.  I’m headed north to make my way through Georgia, South Carolina and then up to North Carolina.  After that I’m not sure where I’m going to go, so I’m writing this little diddy as an introduction to my intention before I set off into the unknown.

For those of you who don’t know my story well, last summer I decided to leave my home in California to return to my birthplace, Orlando, Florida.  I had been craving some kind of adventure that would teach me about myself and about the human experience.  I wanted to finally get to know my extended family: my grandmother, aunts, cousins… all these people I missed out on knowing having grown up on the wrong side of the country.

So, I quit my job and two weeks later was on the road, traveling across the U.S. with only a vague idea about what I would do when I got there.  

I had to take my drive slowly because I have this damn back pain, that limited the amount of time I could bear sitting behind the wheel.  It took me two and a half weeks for my feet to be able to dance in the sandy Central Florida soil.

Well, now what??, I thought….

For two and a half weeks I had been driving from state to state, following a dream, meeting beautiful souls, the wonderful people of America, and for the first time in my life I felt free. 

Maybe that was because I felt somehow connected to these new characters I had been coming across.  I met rest-stop workers sitting in the shade in Needles, California; how could they could bare living in that 126° Mojave desert heat, I wondered??  I met a group of boys trekking through Texas to do radio station interviews for the local country stations.  They helped me when I found myself stranded after losing my debit card somewhere near a milk shake shop six hours prior in New Mexico.  They shared stories of a country life, clearing land to start their own farm.  Their own farm?!  Who does that?!  Nobody where I’m from…  And there are so many others that I’ve come across here in Florida since I arrived in July, I can’t even begin to describe all these people, but I’m in awe…

It didn’t occur to me, at first, that there was something to be said about these chance encounters with strangers.  Their lives contrasted with the bubbled up life I had had in the Orange County suburbs.  Oh man, have I been sheltered, or what?!  It made me think:  Well… what the heck do I know about anything?  About life?  What do I know about work??  How do these people do it??  What do they know about living?  How can I achieve happiness and peace in spite of my pain?  What is love, anyway??  What is freedom??  What can I offer back to those who’ve treated me with grace?  How can I continue to pay that grace forward when hurt people turn around to hurt me and others? 

So, I’ve been here in Florida trying to figure it all out and figure out my next move.  I realized that I’m sick of hurting; I’m sick of being unhappy, and I’m sick of missing opportunities because I was too scared and shy to stick my neck out and talk to people I don’t know.  I’ve made a decision, a commitment to heal in every way possible by living the life I want, by purging all forms of fear in my life, and focusing on unconditional love for all, especially love for the self. 

It’s time for me to live my life the way I want to live.  And I want to travel.  And I want to know people.  I want to understand what it means to be an American.  I want to know what makes us tick.  How is life in suburban California the same or different from a country life in rural towns across the U.S.?  What kind of mentality does it take to spend your life in affluent Winter Park, Florida?  What’s life like in the beach towns?  What are people doing in the Appalachians?  Why do we humans behave the way we behave anywhere, really?  I’ve spent seven months out here getting to know my beautiful family, and now it’s time for me to learn about the rest of my family, my kin, my friends, my acquaintances…. everybody!

With just a camera in hand, a guitar, and a car, I’m setting out again to start an ethnophotographic project to get to know the People of America.  Using photography, song, and the written word I will illustrate what American living is all about.  For me, it means to live freely, to survive, to follow my dreams, to live as I want to live, to learn how to choose joy over worry, to reject socially constructed norms and rules like the expectation for a 28 year old woman to settle down, pop out some chillens, buy a house… etc…..  Nah, that stuff is not for me…. Not yet, anyway….

I don’t expect this journey to be easy and I don’t know yet what kinds of experiences I’ll have or what kinds of people I’ll come across, but my goal is to connect with open souls, those who are open to hearing about my message on love and freedom and what it means to be an American.

Musings of a Nomadic Coffee Drinker

February 8, 2014

I’m sitting on a hard wooden chair at the local Starbucks, sipping on a lukewarm latte.  My scarf and coat simultaneously decorate my knees and keep them from knockin’ as thirsty consumers rush in and out for their Venti Caramel Macchiatos and Mocha Whatevers; keep that door shut, please!

It’s actually not that bad outside, but I live in Florida now and have gotten spoiled by a certain persistent warmth common in areas nearing the equator.  From a subtropical perspective, I’ve learned that anything under 70° is intolerable!  ….I realize I should shut up now, as many of my readers are currently dealing with snow storms with unfathomable below-freezing temperatures.

My sister, for example, is in New Mexico and explained to me yesterday that she uses a simple procedure to determine her willingness to step outside.  She places her hand on a window and evaluates the potential  frozenness beyond the pane.  If when her fingers touch the glass she chills into an Ice Queen, brittle with the frost of the outside world, maybe it’s a good day for Scrabble indoors.

This is not a problem I currently have to deal with, but my itch to get back on the road is persisting and if I’m gonna scratch it, I’ve got to prepare myself for the current polar vortex the rest of the U.S. seems to be bearing.

Yeah, I’m itching for new adventures in new cultures.  Armed with a camera and guitar, I wonder how I can make this dream come alive….

Bulls and Texan Tourism

          My last day with Ashlee was a little hectic trying to organize everything and get some last minute tourism in my day.  Ashlee, her mom, and the 2 girls and I went to old town Fort Worth to see the cattle drive.  We got there just in time and parked along the bull's route, trusting that they wouldn't run wild and stampede my beautiful Sally.  Luckily, nothing of the sort happened.

          Old town was a neat area!  We walked along the brick road, as if transported into an old Western film,  sweating like crazy on the hot summer day.  Old wooden buildings stood tall surrounded by large shady trees that screamed with cicadas.  Tourists in their brand new cowboy hats and boots ambled about the streets taking pictures of the cows and the well costumed cowboys.  Long-horned bulls stood tethered in the shade, standing in as photo props for the non-country folk to hop on their back to get their 30 second thrill while friends take their pictures.  I watched as eager tourists payed $5 to climb up a wooden stool, hoist themselves on the massive, bored animal and try awkwardly to kick up their legs as if ridin' them cows real good.

          Ashlee's mom was the only person who jumped on that cow with confidence and grace, kicking up her foot and throwing her head back with total ease.  Snap snap snap!  We took lots of pictures of her, as she glowed, soaking up some of that country fun!

          Although I knew that this was essentially a block in Knotts Berry Farm (a Southern California theme park that showcases the most stereotypical of the country/cowboy scene), I finally felt like I was in Texas!  As I continue to learn more about Texan culture, I am struck with the vast differences in convictions, lifestyle, language, and spirit. This may be something I would like to ethnographically research further....

          After a few days spent with the Gomez's in Fort Worth it was time for me to continue on my journey and head south toward the Gulf of Mexico.

Chillin with Chilens

July 28, 2013 

The rest of my stay with the Gomez family was a relaxing break from my journey.  Other than spending a chunk of time on the phone with the bank to report my missing cards and request emergency cash, I spent my days catching up with Ashlee and playing with the two little girls of the house, Savannah who’s three, and Allie who is almost 2. 

            My first day there, Ashlee took me riding in her little car with the kids in the back.  The Texas air was hot and thick, but the windows were opened wide to allow that sweet breeze in to help cool us down.  We drove around the suburbs to some local burger joint and Ashlee was so kind to treat me to a veggie burger and a shake. 

            When we got our food stuffed into their papery bags, my job was to ensure that the french-fries did not get cold.  I guarded those fries as diligently as Big Kitty guarded the bathroom door. 

            We drove to the military base where Nate was stationed.  The base has a beautiful lake with tables and grass and local birdies; it was the perfect place to set up our picnic.  Nate joined us shortly, dressed smartly in his Navy uniform, contrasting us casually dressed girls in our cool summer attire and flip-flops. 

            Savannah only wanted to drink her chocolate milk and eat French fries, avoiding the rest of her meal.  Allie threw French fries on the ground and we all jumped to stop her from scarfing down the now soiled potato strips.  Since the wind, while acting as a relief to us from the heat, also blew our napkins from the table; I acted as the official napkin chaser. 

            After we ate, Nate had to go back to work and left us to wade in the warm lake water and skip stones over its surface.  Ashlee had gotten this art down.  She stood with her legs slightly bent, feet under her shoulders in a wide stance, extended her arm back and smoothly set those stones to sail, bounding over the water’s surface.

            The girls, in attempt to imitate their mother grabbed nearby rocks and plopped them into the water.  <plunk>  The lake swallowed the stones whole, while the girls jumped up and down in glee!  I watched these spectacles from behind my camera, standing a little further in the water, facing the shore toward the family of girls.

            When we had had enough of wet feet, we grabbed our shoes and made our way across the grass towards the car.  We sat down and were greeted by a large green grass hopper chillin’ on the dashboard.  Ashlee waited patiently as I  photographed this phenomenal insect before I escorted him out the window.  Off we went to get slurpies, go home and take afternoon naps. 

             

Big Kitty in a Big State

July 28, 2013- Fort Worth, Texas

            Because I lost my debit card and credit card, I found myself a little stuck in Texas.  Thank goodness those boys helped me out, because at least I was able to make it to my destination for the day: to Ashlee and Nate Gomez’ home in Fort Worth, Texas.

            For those of you unfamiliar to Texan geography, Fort Worth is located just west of Dallas.  I got there in the evening and Ashlee/Super-Mom instantly pulled out some delicious risotto pre-made meals from her freezer and I had some din-din.  Thanks Mom!

            I was greeted by such friendliness every where I looked.  Her children, Savannah and Allie were already in bed, but Savannah got up to say hello.  Her kitties, Luna and Big Kitty rubbed their faces on my ankles, begging for attention.  Luna was actually one of my kitties for a while. 

She was one of the kittens that Matela had had back in 2005 and I kept her for about 3 some years until we moved into Gabrielle’s when I was forced to find a new home for her.  Luckily, I found a great home for her with Ashlee who, during that time, was alone in her little Riverside apartment since Nate was off doing some military duties.  (Not sure on those details).So it was a lovely day to see her again, and to reunite her with her momma and brother, Matela and Darcy.  Unfortunately, they did not recognize their kinship and hissed at each other as if to say, “Hsssssss, thanks for abandoning me mom!”

“Hsssss, you’re the one who left me, bitch!”  And then they ran away from each other.

            After an evening of catching up, it was time to hit the Texan hay.  Ashlee and Nate went off to bed and I was left to get ready for bed in the restroom near the guest bedroom.  I washed my travel weathered face and went to brush my teeth only to find I had left my toothbrush in the other room. 

            I opened the door to find that friendly Big Kitty, the enormous alpha male main coon that had previously been rubbing all over me. 

            “Meooooow!”

            “Hi Big Kitty!,” I cooed to him as I reached my hand out to pet his face.

            “Meooooooooooow!,” he replied with a  little wild spark in his eye…. “Hsssssssss!”, he warned me.

            Whoa!  Friendly cat just went crazy!  I stood in the bathroom doorway a little unsure about why his demeanor shifted so abruptly.  My first instinct was to butter him up, “Hey, remember me?  I’m the one with the great ankles!”

            “Mrooooowwww…” he responded darkly….

            I shut the door between us so I could think.  This was so weird!  This cat was standing guard of the door!  How would I ever escape to the bedroom??  I thought maybe I would have to sleep in the tub…  No!  I did not travel halfway into the country just to set up camp next to a toilet!  So I called out to my friend…

            “Ashleeeeeeee,” I half whispered so as not to wake the children…. 

            … no response…

            I cracked open the door to peer at the cat without threat of him lunging in to kill me!  He looked up at me with wild, angry eyes and meowed again.  I shut the door quickly!  Suddenly his claw bearing paw shot out from under the door!  This was like The Shining, and soon this cat is going to find an ax and get me!

            I didn’t want him to think I was afraid of him, I had to be boss.   So my next tactic was to scare him.  I grabbed a towel, opened the door, and swished it in front of his face to shoo him away.  He dodged the towel, and hit it with his paw; claws snagging at the cloth and dissipating the threat of the scary towel.  Crap!  I closed the door again….

            I found a piece of an old PB&J sandwich on the floor.  One of the girls must have left it there for me to use as bait.  I picked it up, cracked open the door and let the cat sniff the yummy food.  “Mmmmmm, you like that?  You want it??  Go get it!”, I threw it away from the door in hopes Big Kitty would be hungrier for dried up bread over delicious me.  Only his eyes followed the bread, and then they looked sternly back up at me.  “Meoooooow,” he said as menacingly as ever.

            I tried the same tactic with a little squishy bath toy.  Maybe he wanted to play.  No… And then some paper I found on the floor… Nothing was working and I had been in that bathroom a near 10 minutes!  I was starting to lose hope!  Ashlee was asleep, I was running out of resources to free myself, and Big Kitty was practically marching back and forth behind the bathroom’s threshold.

            I peeked again, and to my joy and surprise, Big Kitty had gotten bored and wandered off into the kitchen!  I made a mad dash for my room.  Free!!!  … except I still hadn’t brushed my teeth…  

I considered going to bed all gross, but this was a rare night that I wasn’t stuck in a public Walmart bathroom; I needed to go back into the fire, so I grabbed a weapon: a plastic bag.

            As soon as Big Kitty saw me again and began to approach me, I cocked my weapon and shook it loudly and abruptly in his face.  He was out of there faster than lighting streaking across the mid-western sky.  I had won the battle!  I brushed my teeth and went to bed, but I kept that plastic bag nearby just in case the wild animal came back.  

            The next morning, I left my room gingerly,  half expecting Big Kitty to be there waiting for me again.  But he seemed to have forgotten the whole ordeal.  It wasn’t long before he was back to rubbing his face on my ankles in purry ecstasy.  It is this neurotic and unpredictable behavior that leaves the average person to question the legitimacy of cat-friends.  But I am not the average person; I accepted his rubby apologies and had no other dangerous confrontations with Big Kitty.  I passed my initiation.

Yay Texas!

July 8^th, 2013

Earlier today I was thinking it would just be a boring day driving through a bunch of the same stuff I’ve been seeing all along this trip: extensive green prairies, cows on farms, big sky... And although I saw those things, it wasn’t boring.  Usually the exciting adventure stuff happens when I stop my car somewhere- for gas, for a drink somewhere, a good picture; ya know?  The adventure continues.

This morning was dedicated to repacking my car.  Somehow in the 1 week visit to Cat’s, I managed to empty out my entire vehicle of my belongings.  A good chunk was in the guest bedroom I had been enjoying, and everything else was in their car since I insisted on vacuuming all that litter from Darcy’s mishap.  No, I am not driving into another state with a dirty interior!  The exterior, on the other hand, is a massive graveyard for all the bugs I’ve picked up since California… Anyway, it took me a bit longer than expected to reorganize.  Come 11ish am I said my goodbyes and drove away from la casa de Cat y Seba.

I drove 1 mile to the gas station to fill ‘er up and get some snackies for my Icee Cooler.  I also forgot to potty so that was on the station agenda, too.  I walked around and around and around that store- people kept getting into that stall before I could.  So I made a mental list of the items to purchase once I was done in the bathroom: iced coffee, string cheese, mixed fruit, and Spitz chili-lime sunflower seeds.   Weird combo, I know.  And after I was done, I ran over to the milkshake shop next door to grab a peachy shake!  (Even better combo!) 

The milkshake stop, however, didn’t accept debit cards for purchases under $5, so I ran allllll the way back to my car for my last five dollar bill, and ran aaaaaaaaalllllll the way back to the shop next door.  Success!!  And then I walked back satisfied with my awesome purchase.   FINALLY I was ready to drive! 

I had to make it to Fort Worth, Texas by a reasonable hour since I was planning on staying with the Gomez’s, so I didn’t pull over every 10-20 minutes for some amazing photo opportunity.  Only once… I saw some cool wind mills….  

I actually saw a lot of cool things on the road.  There were lots of run down shacks with vines and stuff taking over, LOTS of farms and grain mills, funny Texas road signs warning people not to litter with the headline, “Don’t mess with Texas,” a beautiful sunset over the lake, and of course that crazy sky.  I’m starting to think that California is missing out on sky potential! 

Regardless, I only stopped 2 other times in Texas: to check a warning light on my dashboard, and to get gas.  The light was just notifying me that I was out of window wiper fluid… no biggy.  And the gas… uhhh… here is where my adventure really started….

I got to the gas station after driving for a good 5 hours.  I turned off the engine, grabbed my wallet, looked inside… and my debit card was not there… It wasn’t anywhere!  I ran around my car, opening doors, looking around and trying not to panic yet.  After all, I still had a dollar left from that five I relinquished for my peachy shaken up ice-cream treat… Oh right, and my check book. 

Then a couple friendly fellows must have seen me panicking and asked me about my travels; they saw my sweet Cali license plates.  So I took a break from my troubles and talked to these Texan folk.  Turned out they were traveling themselves, to go on some radio interviews.  They told me they were a part of a country band that had gotten on the radios here.   The name of the band was called 121 North.

Anyway, we chit-chatted for a few minutes and I enjoyed that little break from reality.  They even offered me a sandwich, which I declined since I was still so full from all that milk shake and sunflower seeds.  At some point I mentioned, chuckling at my bad luck, that I had lost my debit card.  My theory is that it is either lost in my car, or fell out of my pocket when I was running around earlier. 

After helping me search my car in vain, a couple of those dudes went inside to see if they would accept a check.  NO.  So, to my very appreciative surprise they pitched in to get me the rest of the way to my destination.  Oh thank youuuuuu!  And as a thank you, I took their picture and will have to find them on Facebook to give it to them.

After I left that gas station, I was filled with a sense of love for Texas.  Thank you Mother Gaia for sending me some help!  It was the highlight of today’s excursion.  Thanks to their generosity I was able to make it to Fort Worth where I got to sleep on a bed!

Independence Day and Aliens (Part II)

July 8th, 2013

Home With Cat

Since the day I arrived here in Portales, NM, Cat, Seba, and I have been enjoying the most relaxing time together.  Most days we’ll go out for a walk where we meet friendly horses,  or we snooze away the afternoon, or enjoy a milk shake or a malt(I still don’t know the difference).  Yesterday we hung out at the neighbor’s garage sale and made grilled pizza.  Life in Portales is so laid back; I don’t even recognize the word ‘stress’ any more. 

Close Up of Freedom

We did have two major outings, however.  The first being our Fourth of July celebration.  Independence Day held particular significance to me this year, as I have just recently declared my own independence from life at home, a job that proved injurious on bad days, and a miserable feeling that this was it.  So this year I celebrated my true and extensive freedom from all those things that were holding me down; here I am taking my dream vacation and going back to Florida where my life began.

Pals

The other outing was a trip to Roswell to go to the Annual UFO Festival.  After two hours on the road of nothingness, we arrived in this very odd town and stopped at Taco Bellico for some Crunchwrap delight with delicious cheesy nacho saucers.  There were alien billboards and murals of UFOs and interplanetary scenes on nearly every brick-built wall.

The festival was scorchingly hot, there were unique people all about, and my tangerine shaved-ice was the best thing around.  We got to experience a festival dedicated to life on other planets, and we had a lot of laughs.  But then we decided that no amount of frozen shavings could make up for the intensity of the heat, so we drove back home.

Now it is time for me to head out on the road again.  I will miss my dear sister and Sebastian, but my stay here must end.  Tomorrow I am on my way to Fort Worth, Texas to see another dear friend, Miss Ashlee Gomez; choir nerds unite! 

Creepy Bat Bike